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Bum Vote

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Defiling my Twitter feed this morning was the news that The Sun thought it a good editorial decision to run a front page frothing at the mouth about M&S deciding to change all of their Percy Pig sweets to vegetarian-friendly ones.  I suppose in one respect it was, because here I am, sat typing about it.  According to the BBC website, which is also allowing this story (I use the term loosely) to take up space on their webpage, people are complaining about it not being ‘normal food.’

I am not a vegetarian.  But first, what is the issue with changing from one product that includes gelatin from the boiled bones of pigs (which cannot be particularly good for anybody – especially the pig) that does not include this product?  Anyone?  Anyone at all?

Secondly, and I have to ask, because I have been wondering all morning – do they really not have anything more important to worry about? Because if they are that upset about a pink sweet, then where do you have left to go when something really important happens?  I cannot help but wonder if this is story was somehow a crass right-wing segway into trying to make this into an issue of sovereignty – damned EU, telling us we can’t have goo from boiled pig bones in our sweets.

So tomorrow, I hope that we are all off to vote.  And voting, no doubt, around the issue of what we consider to be sovereignty.  Females and people who haven’t voted before, I am talking specifically to you.  Women, because look at what the second female PM this country has done for feminism (yes, that’s right, nothing), and people who haven’t voted before, because your voice is every bit as important as those of us who have been trooping off to put crosses in boxes as soon as the law said we could.  And in three week’s time, we get another go.

Now, probably like you, I have been pondering as to how best to use my vote.  There are a number of messages I want to send, and given that nothing else seems to have worked on Prime Minister Tin Ears, this is an important opportunity for all of us.  Before she is removed in a second vote by her party.  I think it is important to note here that according to the government it is entirely democratic for the Conservative Party to vote on the same issue twice, and for Parliament to vote three or even four or five times on precisely the same thing, but undemocratic for the Electorate to vote on something that is an entirely different animal from the one presented three years ago.  I wish someone could explain that to me. I have asked my local MP to explain it to me – he either can’t or doesn’t want to.  Short words are fine.  I will try and understand.

The first message I want to send, because I am a Remainer, is to vote for someone who has unequivocally set their stall out to Remain.  Not “ it depends what our party gets out of it”, “can I keep my job if I do?”, “how much money can we have?” or “we’ll see”.  No ifs, not buts.  Remain. You may not feel the same and wish to vote in entirely the opposite way – absolutely fine with me.  However, I should warn you that if you think JRM and Bojo are destined for things higher than Strictly and you have a Nigel Farage calendar in your kitchen, then we are never going to be friends. 

The second message is for those currently in parliament, or more specifically, government, which is: “wtf?”  Not erudite, not clever, but I’m not sure how best else to describe the unfathomable shit storm that we have all watched in wide-eyed horror for the last three years.

Thirdly, a final point which I feel has been somewhat overlooked is the thing that John Lennon said about life happening whilst you were busy making other plans.  Apparently we, the Human Race, have twelve years. Twelve years before the natural world is in an irreversible decline. Sir David Attenborough phrased it much better, and I am sure he would never use such language, but I took twelve years to mean “by 2031, we’re fucked, people.”

It is symptomatic of the staggering and continuing arrogance of the Human Race that we think all of the nonsense that I have just spouted about is even vaguely important whilst our world is dying around us.  It’s not even a matter of a world we will be giving to our children – twelve years.  I’ve been married to the Man of the House longer than that.  Poor chap.  And it is us who are in trouble. The Earth will be okay until the end of time, which is actually a thing (as explained by Professor Brian Cox).   Nature doesn’t care about all the crap that humans concern themselves with and when it comes down to it, really comes down to it, neither should the humans.  And we’re coming down to it. Nature doesn’t care about the humans either, or the animals, or the environment.  Because it adapts to survive.  And survive it will. Charles Darwin taught us that. However, if I could make an appeal to your better nature; just because it doesn’t care about us, it does not mean that we shouldn’t care about it. Or the animals, or the environment, or goodness me, each other. That is, after all, what makes us human.

Finally, if that doesn’t appeal to your better nature, because you don’t have one, it is also entirely acceptable for you to cast a shameless vote to save your own arse instead.

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